Friday night Pinot Grigio fueled conversation:

Me: I am screwed. Actually, "not screwed at all" would be the correct statement.

Gay Mike: No one at uni?

Me: Oh yeah! Gay guys and straight girls. I am so lucky.

GM: And what about gay girls?

Me: Actually, and something tells me you will agree, I find that, in the long term, girls somehow lack the right equipment.

GM: True... But you could still have fun with a girl and a strap-on?

Me: Mike, would YOU have sex with a girl and a strap-on?

GM: No!!!

Me: There. We understand eachother.