Dumped

I'm officially dumped.
Well, not exactly. But I got Mike to speak to Hihes at a Christmas party last night. Apparently, he said there was nothing wrong with me, but that he just didn't want to take things any further.
(It looks like the night I thought we could really be together, he thought I wasn't worth the bother. What a connexion!!! And I am so winning the first prize in the fools' category. Congratulations to me!)

Thanks for letting me know and not let me hang in there for almost two fucking weeks.

Mike told him the least he could have done was telling me or at least give me a call and ended the conversation by calling him a chidlish coward.
Good boy. Couldn't have said it better myself.

I'm seriously thinking of asking Mike to marry me.
We would have the perfect arrangement; we already live together and we enjoy the same things (including boys).
We could be eachother's soulmates, and still bring home whoever we'd like for sex.

And I wouldn't get so fucking hurt... Because it really hurts.

Another thing that pisses me off so much is that I know myself: It's going to be a long time before I can allow myself to get emotionally involved with anyone. Can I possibly become more cynical than I already am? What a cheerful thought...

Anyway, I'm going to take a break from it all. I'm leaving London for ten days. Five on holidays with the parents. Five visiting the family.
I can't wait... to be back. To be back, and over it all.